Almost a new year... :)

I have decided to be less hard on myself for not updating this blog more regularly. It is more like a place for me to get my thoughts, that are usually floating around in my mind, into text form so that they float less.

Tonight I was doing some thinking about my summer in Namibia, Africa. While I was there, I was very distracted by things and people that I missed at home. I felt so isolated while I was there and sometimes I regret that I was not more in the moment. However, tonight I decided that I shouldn't apologize for who I was then and how I spent my time or what my thoughts were on most of the time. That experience was nothing like I thought it would be and I think that's what I needed most.

I think we all have the power to let our lives play out in many different ways. There was a time when I saw myself traveling a lot, being single and figuring out life this way. However, Matt came into my life in the most perfect of moments and now I am thrilled to do all my figuring with him by my side. I think about having a family one day and buying our first home. He is my best friend and I know that we will only grow closer with time.

A lot of good things are happening right now. I feel the Spirit of Christ working in my life and it feels so real and peaceful. I have been asking for God to show me how to have an authentic relationship with him. I feel that he is answering my prayer. He is also showing me how faithful He is, even when I am not so faithful.

Matt's grandpa is recovering from some medical issues. We visited him today and I was glad to hug him and tell him that we love him. He has the sweetest and most gentle heart.

Thanks for reading.

L

yikes!

I am not so good about updating this blog.. however, there is much to tell and share!

I am a teacher!!! I teach community-based pre-k in a-town and I love it! Matt and I recently purchased new living room furniture and did a lot of work on our little white house to make it better and we are very happy with it. We have been throwing around the idea of getting Ve a puppy sibling..

Last Sunday, we took our engagement pictures! Our photography, Colton, did an AMAZING job. I will post a couple of my favs, but so far we just have a sneak peak! You can see them here http://www.sixfourteenphotography.com/200
9/09/matt-lindsi.html ! We can't wait to see the rest. I love this man so very much and I cannot wait to be his wife, for all time.

Being with him is really teaching me a lot about myself. I am thinking so much about the wife I want to be. He is my partner and friend and I could not ask for more.

AND we are joining a gym and changing our fitness lives! I did bootcamp this morning and plan to go back tomorrow for another torturous class. We want to start our life together out right!

Have a blessed day and tell the ones you love that you love them.

l

hmm things have changed a bit..

Well, the lead I had is no longer a lead. However, more possibilities have come my way. At this point, I am trying to do what everyone keeps telling me to do.. and trust that the Lord has a perfect plan. How can I not believe this when he has blessed me in ways that I never thought possible: bringing Matthew into my life in the PERFECT moment and giving us a love that will last for all time, providing for all of my physical needs, filling my life with amazing friends and family.

It is interesting to me to see where my peers are in their lives: getting married, having babies, buying houses, getting their careers started. From the start of our relationship, I have thought about a future with Matt. It was obvious to be from very early on that we were meant for each other. Truthfully, there are times when I get a bit anxious that I don't feel as far along as I "should" be. But then I remember, that we all have our story and thank goodness that our stories are different.

I am excited to see where our lives take us, but I am so thankful that Matthew will be there through it all. When I look at him, I see so much love and committment, I see the father in him and the husband. I hear how much he cares for me and our relationship in the way that he speaks to me. I won't lie: being parents is going to be so much fun!
Life will not always be easy, this I am sure of. But I am committed to being a wife who loves and a wife who forgives. And there will be times when I need his forgiveness, too. It is going to be a great journey!

Thanks for reading!

lj

Life is so sweet...

You know that feeling? When life is so sweet that you want to freeze time and just relish in the joy and peace that you feel...



While the wedding is still 281 days away.. we already have a lot taken care of! We have selected our venue and I am SOO pleased.. We will be married in the sculpture garden outside a local art center. We will then enjoy a reception inside with dancing, drink and fun! But most of all, and I am being sincere, I could marry him anywhere... any day. And I would gladly do it now. We both just imagine a room full of the people we love there to celebrate with us.



I got my first "bite" yesterday when a teacher friend of mine told me about a possible job opportunity.. It is not a sure thing, however, it would feel so good to know that I have a teaching job for the Fall. M and I have decided that instead of looking for a house as soon as we thought we would (this Fall), we are strongly considering staying in our little house for a while longer and saving some money. We have a few things that we could get paid off if we were not trying to get into a house and furnish it.. and so on.

It would certainly give us a bit of a head start. We are so happy there, we have a backyard for V and a lot of love. AHH!!! I am so happy!!

lj :)

i love being loved by you...

I am overwhelmed.. but today I am saying this because of how overwhelmed I am by the Lord's goodness. I am not sure that I acknowledge His hand in my life the way I ought to. I know that He is blessing me beyond my greatest expectations.

A year ago, I was going through a difficult time in my life. I had hope, but I was deeply hurting and sad and feeling a number of different losses. I grew so much in that time and there came a day when I was overwhelmed with hope that something so sweet was coming. I felt as though my heart was being prepared and healed for my husband. I am very serious when I say this. Matt came into my life in the perfect moment, as he says and I agree, we needed each other and there we were. Two old friends who have always been in each other's hearts coming together. We knew very early that what was happening between us was something so different than either of us had ever experienced before.

My favorite place is to be by his side, whatever we are doing. We love to spend time with our friends and family and I cherish every chance we get. He helps me to grow and has the kindest heart. He sees the good in everyone... he challenges me. When I am worried or anxious, I can go to him and share. He speaks from his heart and helps me find my way.

He makes me better, I've said it before and I'm sure I will say it again.. Thanks for reading my gushes.. :)

lf

family love.

Last night, we were informed that my Grams has a spot on her lung that could be cancerous. This kind of news brings a rare kind of sadness and fear. But, today the lung specialist said that he did not think it it cancer! My family is overwhelmed with thanks. Before we found out this news, my family was all together at the hospital. We laughed and spoke positively about the situation. It was our first time to hang out with my family since we got engaged...

Matt really is my family. He fits right in and it is the best feeling to have him there with me, in hard moments and in the blissful moments.. My family loves him and hugs him like he belongs, he does belong. I am so excited about marrying him and taking his name!!!

There are so many things to be thankful for! I guess this is going to be a gush-blog for a while.. can't help it!

lj

making dinner..

tonight I was making dinner for Matt and me. Usually the TV is going in our house even if noone is watching it. I had it turned on mute because I was on the phone earlier. I can't see the TV from the kitchen, so it was quiet and still in the house as I prepared dinner. I love when I know that Matt is headed home and will be walking through the door to greet Vegas and me soon. I also loved how quiet my mind was as I waited for the water to boil for our mac n' cheese. I reflected on the conversation that I had with Ashley earlier in the afternoon. So many times during our chat I felt so much joy and excitement for where she is in her life. We have been dear friends for a LONG time and I know we will be for many many years to come.

She will be standing with Matt and me when we get married. I am so lucky to have sweet friends who I can talk to so long that I lose track of time. We can talk about the deep things in our hearts and trust that no judgement will take place. We can celebrate with each other when we experience victories.. and cry with one another when there are hard times.

Today, I think we may have decided where we are getting married! I want to remember all the moments of this time and take it all in. I am marrying the love of my life.. and I couldn't have more peace... love you, Matt.

Love,
Lindsi

my stomach is in knots...

Today we find out if the venue is available. Another couple/person/group has it on hold, but they have to decide by today. I have looked at so many photos of this venue and it is beautiful, outside ceremony/inside reception (which is what we want!), and they allow us to use our own catering and bring in our own alcohol. Unfortuneately.. they are super booked. So, hopefully this day will be open.

If not, I know we will find a wonderful place. But it would feel so great to nail that down. We have been engaged for 3 weeks and I have already found a million more reasons why I want to spend my life with Matt! I think that we are a great balance for each other. Well, I will keep you posted about the venue! We should know.. very soon. yay!

Lindsi

most wonderful time of my life!

June 24, 2009.. Matthew asked me to marry him!!!!! AHHHH!!! So exciting!! The truth is.. I can't wait to be his wife, his partner for always. He got my attention when I was 13.. for so many reasons. I could see that he was real, sincere and loving. He is still all of those and a man.. he was a boy when I met him and now he is a man.. this incredible, loving man who I love with all my heart. It feels so good to know that he is the one I was made for. He supports me in every way and our relationship brings me so much peace and joy.

I believe that the Lord knits our hearts and when he does.. He knits another heart just for us. My heart is Matt's. He makes me better. I know that our life will be so sweet. It will be filled with joys and some pains... but isn't it beautiful when 2 separate people join together and say,

"No matter what I will stay, no matter what I am here, and no matter what I am yours."

So this post is dedicated to Matty, my love. From the moment I said yes, our love has grown and I know that it will continue to grow! YAY! Thank you for reading my mushy post.. I can't help it!

:)

lj (almost ljn!)

over active brain.

I am going to assume that I am not the only female on Earth who thinks too much. I have found that the effects of this condition are quite negative. I have so many things in my life to be so thankful for. I am so blessed, and yet I let the unknown, the unresolved, the inevtiable life stuff rob me. I am missing out on the beauty of being in my early twenties, in love with the man I was made for, pursuing the career of my choice, healthy, strong, with a bright future and so many things to look forward to.

Yet, I worry, I fear, I dwell, I analyze and I miss out. I have used this blog for many things. But for me, it is healing and therapeutic to write. For whatever reason, I don't write very much anymore, but when I do I find comfort and release. As often as I can, I am going to come to the blog and write about my journey to healthier mental habits. And I am sure I will share other things as well. If you read this, I hope that you can find something to relate to or maybe think of something great you can share with me.

My 24th birthday is this week.. it is a crazy and busy week.

Today, I am going to do what I can to get my school work done. Then I am going to go to Matt's softball game and be with our friends. When I get home.. I am going to spend quality time with him and do my best not to be distracted by what is undone. There will always be things to do, a list of chores or errands or assignments or papers to grade.. So I want to cherish the time I have to talk with Matt and connect with him. I want to grow next to him and be the woman he needs. Right now, I feel like I am lacking because I give into my stress so often and forget to enjoy the present.