So many thoughts lately

My mind hasn't been busy with wedding to-do lists and emails to send and plans to confirm. Truthfully, it has been nice to feel more calm and so nice to call Matt Norris my husband. I have shared so many conversations about that day and how wonderful it was and how some things didn't go exactly how I saw them going. But truly, the most important thing is that Matt and I have committed to love one another, for all time.

I have been thinking so much about the woman I want to be and the wife I want to be. Lately I have been feeling like in some ways that I might need a perspective adjustment. I am so blessed, so blessed beyond measure. But I get stuck in my plans for the future and sometimes forget to enjoy this time to the fullest. I find myself wishing that I could be more laid back in certain moments, more easy going.. more patient. I do feel, in all honesty, that the Lord wants more from me. That seems only fair, I want so much more of Him.

I am so thankful for our small group. Sometimes I am blown away by the blessing that it brings to me. I look back and I see times in our lives when God was preparing us to love one another, support and challenge one another, but also to experience Christ as adults. In some ways, it felt easier to make God first when we were immersed in a youth group full of adults spurring us on. But now, it is a daily choice. Who is my Lord? Who saved me? I believe it is Christ who did this, Christ who has given me life.

Steven was bold and he said we must be so cruel to know the love of Christ and not share it. If I truly believe that He has given me life, why do I serve so many other masters.

I want to let go more. I want to keep diving into the heart that God gave me so that I can discover more of my purpose, more of His plan. And truly, I want to be a blessing to my husband. I know that I need God's grace to do that. I feel encouraged and I feel the Lord working in my soul, this is good.

Small group tonight, meet us there Lord.

elle